The Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute

IMPORTANT NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING PRODUCT RECALL WAS CANCELLED
BY THE FDA ON JANUARY 30, 2004.

ARSI extends its gratitude to all our friends and supporters, especially those in Congress, during this difficult period for the organization. The following information is provided for those who are interested in the history of this dispute.

The following notice (reproduced in part) was issued by the FDA on 12/25/03:

NOTICE FROM THE UNITED STATES FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION:
RE: Rutabagas "ARSI 295-BG-374"

Required by 28 Code of Federal Regulations Section 345 (w)(42)(cmlxvii)

The Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute (ARSI), in response to consumer complaints over the Thanksgiving holiday, has been forced to recall 276,644 tons of rutabagas distributed nationwide from November 3-23, 2002. These genetically-engineered products ("ARSI 295-BG-374"), when prepared according to the published recipe, produced widespread reports of "mild nausea, malaise, ennui, disgust, disdain and disapproval." FDA investigators conclude that "ARSI 295-BG-374" is unusually susceptible to root rot and discoloration, as evidenced by ARSI's own Live Rutacam.

To which ARSI responded on 12/26/03:

ARSI denies the FDA's allegations and will pursue all available judicial and political remedies. It believes that the counting methods used by the FDA were "inherently flawed" and demands further study by impartial investigators. ARSI asserts that the "incipient root rot" in "Bertrand" ("Experimental Subject No 2"), first discovered by an astute ARSI researcher, is harmless despite certain aesthetic deficiencies. A dramatic change in "Bertrand's" surface color has been deemed "not definitive" by ARSI researchers. The above FDA notice, though required by federal law, has been posted "under protest" by ARSI staff.

OBIE MACAROON III
ARSI President for Life

The following ARSI Press Release, dated 1/16/04, modified the original Rutabagas A la Geaghan recipe to correct the deficiencies noted in the FDA report

ARSI PRESS RELEASE #15

According to various press reports, Thanksgiving cooks across the nation are having problems with ARSI's new strain of designer rutabaga, the ARSI 295-BG-374A. Apparently, cooking times have increased dramatically for our ever-popular "Rutabagas A La Geaghan" recipe. Therefore, we have modified that recipe (see below) for your convenience.

This new variety of rutabaga is derived from genetically-modified seeds specially formulated to provide a longer shelf and refrigerator life for our product. This innovation is a direct result of an experiment that can be observed at our Live Rutacam: http://members.tripod.com/~rutabagas/webcams.html. The tradeoff, unfortunately, seems to be a more protracted cooking period due to greater product density.

While low-tech rutabagas have a hardness rating of 11.3 on Moh's scale (equal to fused zirconium oxide), ARSI 295-BG-374A tests at an impressive 14.25 (equal to boron carbide). It will retain its freshness in your refrigerator for an estimated 32.4 years!

Cooking times in the recipe have been adjusted accordingly, but a new protocol (Step 5 and 7) has been added to shorten the process somewhat.

AN IRISH CLASSIC: RUTABAGAS A LA GEAGHAN

1) Peel and cut up 8-10 fresh rutabagas
2) Boil vigorously 26-30 days or until softened
3) Soak for 112 hours in 2 gallons of hydrochloric acid.
4) Drain in a well-ventilated location.
5) Blend thoroughly with a solvent of 50% potassium hydroxide (pH 14.0) and 50% ordinary household ammonia (pH 11.9).
6) Drain and then mash or pulverize into a thick smoldering paste
7) Add 1/2 cup 2% milk and 65 grams of potash.
8) Add cinnamon, salt and butter to taste
9) Serve dripping with brown gravy or other sauce to enhance the pungent natural flavor of the rutabagas

[NOTE: Cooking times must be increased 30% at altitudes over 3,000 feet. As a precaution, safety goggles are highly recommended during every phase of preparation.]

[DISCLAIMER: ARSI and its affiliates, including their heirs and assigns, hereby disclaim legal responsibility for the misuse of its products, including any failure to strictly conform to published recipes and preparation protocols.]

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